Friday, May 29, 2009

Holy God (Allah, or whatever)

I never post my wins anymore, seems kind of pointless and nothing but a grab at attention to me... I HAVE TO POST THIS ONE THOUGH. This is hardly the biggest win monetarily, but man I think I am more proud of this one than ANY in my past. I want you to imagine 1500 $15 tournament players playing LIMIT Omaha /8 and you winning that. Doesn't seem possible right? I took at least 94 bad beats, I was short a lot, yet somehow won this Mini WSOP thing!!!

They even give you a watch ahhahaha!! Probably a little plastic piece of shit, but whatever. You will see that watch on EBAY in no time, so buy it and tell your friends lies. Like the guy who bought a WSOP chip I stole from the RAZZ event in 06 for $400. I bet he uses it as a card protector and tells his home game peeps "I played the big one".

Won this not even 24 hours later and I don't even care. ANY MONKEY can run good in NLHE :) Unfortunately my run good juice died out two hours before the final table and I was forced to play "smokkee/blinders/buddydank wait for huge hands cause I am so short poker" :(

BBT Odds

OK, I am too lazy for the groupings.... Believe it or not, once you get off a computer for awhile you dread going back :) if your name is not on the list its because I have no clue who you are, sorry. There are 41 "players" in the TOC as I type this, with two events to go. I am 100% confident though that one of the same lucktrucks that keep getting slapped by the deck will take down the final two BBT events.

125Will(20.5/1) Not a lot of experience or major wins in bloggerments or real poker that I know of.
Queensup(2/1) This doesn't mean I think QueensUp can play poker, its just that this guy gets more cards and wins more races than anyone I have ever seen in my life (not named Jordan).
AlcantHang(41/1) Nice guy, host of BBT afterall, but just doesn't play much poker.
APOSEC(10/1) More tight solid player than most bloggers.
F-Train(19/1) Never met a pair or two pretty picture cards that he did not like. Absent of getting a deck spanking, just can't see it.
Buddydank(41/1) Way to tight and timid, yet somehow always gets paid off by idiot bloggers who CALL his all ins. News flash people, buddy has AK, AA, KK, QQ every time he ships it pre....
CK31(15/1) Understands poker, just not much tournament savvy yet. She only gets higher odds than most because she has a vag and it really seems to me that these guys fold to girls like its cool in BBT....
Columbo(7/1) Columbo has really mixed his game up, some days he is spew monkey, others he plays tighter than BuddyDank, Smokkee, Blinders combined. This makes him pretty tough to play against IMO.
DrPauly(1/1) I figure since he was already given a seat for free the deck will be stacked for him....
HighOnPoker(1/12,050) This guy just simply cannot lose.... He calls all in with KJ, guy has KT, he calls with 55, guy has 44. It really is very unfortunate that this guy cannot run like this in a REAL tournament ONE TIME, he would be millionaire. Short term luck is just more probable in small fields, so a field of 41 I can't see how this guy will lose!
Hoyazo(82/1) Like me, I am sure Hoy will tilt out of this thing about half way through due to not getting any strong starting hands, watching the same people get big hands over and over, and watching AJ vs 44 all in pres. So basically hoy might as well skip this event.
JJOK(5/1) Guy only played like one event and won a Mookie no less! If he can run like that once in a mookie, can't see why it won't happen again.
Joanne(41/1) Too easy here, she limp calls its marginal, raises its huge. Yet people still pay her off..... Anyone who limp calls off stack UTG with 66 needs to step back, play less, read more, formulate a better strategy. Or perhaps just take up pulling slot machines or playing bingo?
Lucko(9/1) If Lucko gets his share of big starting hands he could easily win this. I have the feeling though some limp callers later on are going to kill him with A6o all night though :(
MiamiDon(12/1) This guy will piss off so many people on the radio, during the MTT, or in his blog that if he gets any cards whatsoever he will get paid.
PushMonkey(41/1) Name says it all right?
Pvanharibo(1/1) Just like lucko, very aggro pre flop, will fire every flop, very susceptible to a slow player with a hand. This group however seems to fold a lot to her, like CK (see the vag effect on CKs post). She should be able to amass a huge stack just raising every pot pre really....
QRS1(8/1) Pretty tight aggro player, usually has pretty good hand when all in. I also believe this is a woman, so again, see vag power. If nobody knows she is a woman though she won't get the same folds sadly. If I was her I would email every player in the TOC before the TOC with topless photos, I'm just sayin....
Rakefeeder(42/1) Not much to say that you don't know....
ShabazzJenkins(4/1) Shabazz has been a pretty good player for awhile now, he deserves this win IMO.
Smokkee(5/1) I predict $mokkee will get it all in pre vs dumb people like usual, win more than his share, once shorthanded though he will come apart at the seems and get 3rd. $mokkee is always the bridesmaid when real money/prizes are on the line :(
TuscJohn(1/1,000,000) This guy runs so Fing good its silly! If he doesn't win it will be collapse similar to NE losing to NYG in SB.
Vinnay(41/1) Errr no

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Blogger Big Game Mulligan/Buddy Dank Radio

I have created a $40+$4 Blogger Big Game Mulligan MTT (PASSWORD = vegas) exactly one hour after the start of the Big Game this coming Sunday, May 31st. This is the end of the BBT, so go out in style and win something nice! If a spew monkey can win four seats, and a girl two, you can surely win something right?

Still waiting to hear from Miami Don, but Sunday should be an "Asshat" reunion on BDR. You know what that means right? Radio that DOESN'T SUCK!

- No love stories
- No poems
- No Canada knowledge, F Canada
- No music requests, only music that does not suck will be played

So if you are lucky Don will have 3/4 of a bottle of vodka down before this starts and you will get some more one line wonders! Too bad he can't pass out and sleep in my dogs corner on the dogs pillow again though :(

Monday, May 18, 2009

An Open Letter to Mr AlCantHang

If you agree please let him know. I cannot see how anyone would disagree with deep stack grand finale with longer levels. Well maybe TuscaloosaJohn, Queensup, or some of these other people who haven't lost a race since 1984 would. If I ran like them I would push for 100 chip turbo actually :)

Dear AlCantHang,

For the love of god can you please get FTP to do something special for the TOC? Like the Sunday Mill structure with 5K chips? Something, anything different that will allow for more play.... If I have to watch one of these tard monkeys who thinks AJ is good vs 4th raise all in pre win a Main Event seat vs 33 I may have to kill myself! I think it would be pretty cool if you know, people actually have to take flops and make decisions and all. It would almost be a scene similar to a poker game, people would be all lost and shit, it would be awesome honestly, recordable even.

Also, is it just me or is the last Big Game scheduled for Day of TOC? How is that gonna work if this is the case? Shouldn't the last Big Game be everyone's last chance to get in? Plus how sweet will it be to see waffles put up 100% of his roll and have to get backing for the other $59.75 of the Big Game buy-in only to bubble with AA vs a hammer?

PS. I am in no way ungrateful for you and FTP showering this group with undeserved gifts. Personally I just think a lot of people would like a great grand finale, similar to what bocock did for us at end of bodonkey.

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Hockey Thoughts...

I am one of the few Americans who actually enjoys hockey I believe. Growing up in the Detroit Area it wasn't uncommon for us to be playing street hockey from noon till sundown every weekend as a kid. I didn't have the opportunity to play ice hockey until high school unfortunately because I was poor, and well hockey is the most expensive sport there is.... It really is so sad for me to see how irrelevant hockey has become in America. The games are so frigging intense, there is no better moment in all of sports than an OT playoff hockey game in my opinion. Every shot has you on the edge of your seat! I have a couple complaints about modern hockey though:

- What P.C vagina asses thought it was a good idea to make the rinks bigger? I know why they did it, to eliminate goons in hockey. News flash, goons in hockey make the sport awesome! Bob Probert and Ty Domi were probably my two favorite players of all time. I can't even count the times that as soon as the puck dropped on the opening face off these guys just dropped their gloves and commenced to whoopin somebodies ASS! Now hockey fights are a rare treat, and the refs step in way to soon to bust em up.....

- The television rights to the NHL in hockey are just floating out there and nobody will pick it up! Literally just give it away for a couple years NHL and win back the pre-strike fans!

- Way too many friggin teams make the NHL playoffs. I cannot even count how many times my team (Red Wings) have won the Presidents Cup (best regular season record) only to run into some crap team like the Ducks with a hot goalie. This process makes about as much sense as schools and sports leagues giving every kid a trophey, such pussy shit... People wonder why America is full of mommy boy, metro-sexual males who enjoy shopping for clothes and plucking their eyebrows! Reward regular season success with better odds at the cup please... My guys have 11 cups, but they would have over 20 if the NHL didn't just let everyone in.


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Been Awhile

Many people would say I have been running well of late. I on the other hand would say that I have been running like total shit.... First the good I guess since I never post anything here.

1st in $25K
1st in $28K
1st in $20K
1st in $5K (HORSE)
1st in $4K (PLHE)
2nd in $11K
2nd in $50K
2nd in $6K (PLHE)
3rd in $32K
5th in $18K
6th in $30K

I would say these all took place from mid-March on. So how could I be running bad you ask? I swear to fucking christ (someone else if you are Jewish) I have final table bubbled or gotten 8th or 9th no less than a dozen freaking times in between all that. The fucking worst was Sunday when I was in a $50 on Stars with like 2600 runner, 1st is $20K, I get AQ vs AK blind vs blind and KK all in pre vs AQ on 5 handed table (final table bubble). So I go from 3rd in chips to crippled with a "blinders stack" and out in 9th. Yeah, I am an ungrateful ass so eat my cock anyone who thinks that....

I also continue to run like shit in $200s on Sunday, I seriously fucking wish FTP would let me ban myself from Sunday Majors. Not cause the buy-ins are a ton or anything, just cause I have zero fucking prayer in any of them and I know it. So I guess I am insane because I continue to play them for some ungodly fucking reason. Poker is like fucking heroin, you are always chasing the dragon only a couple lucksacks ever get the opportunity to touch. Most importantly I have yet to win a mookie.... I will still never be considered good in the eyes of peers until I am lucky enough to get rail roaded with cards to call everyone's all ins with in one of those. Since after all that is the only way to win one of those.... I'd give back all the $ for one mookie title :(

OK, just to give people something to laugh at I am gonna play my nuts (yes I have two unlike a blogger or two we all know) off during FTOPS. I am a sadist or something, I just don't get it.... I have never in my life done well in FTOPS. The best I ever did was like 15th or something in a $500 PLO event awhile back. PLO doesn't count for shit unfortunately in my book as it is a total luck sack skill less game IMO. Calling PLO poker is like calling RAZZ poker, even though there is more strategy in freaking UNO than RAZZ! So I have the next couple weeks off, so if I were you I would register for every event I am in since there is at least one dead money ass in it (me).

Memo to FTP, you have so many fucking promotions going on and leader boards that I have no fucking clue what is what. Trying to decipher that shit would give Albert Einstein a headache. Simplify things geniuses!

While on the subject of FTP, isn't it dumb to pimp your poker school with the picture of a washed up dinosaur like Howard Lederer? That guy hasn't won shit since poker became relevant right? He is the smartest poker player alive though, he just collects the rake and counts money all day, but still.... Why not use some real players like Allen Cunningham or something to teach people to play better?